Im living like a zombie?I smoke weed I hate accutane I hate acne You lose one thing to grow and lose more?
So it all started with acne first year of high school hah!! what a bummer....
It wasnt great ever! at all did I feel anybody I cared about nothing at all, All I pondered
365 days that first year was getting rid of my so called acne, More like a living hell.
Embarrassed and 100% more shy than what I was to start off with I was a teen holding all
his desires and wishes not to admit pursuing relations playing a sport which i would have become
the most outgoing person of the school but of course truth was It wasnt going to happen that year
I had friends tons but I closed doors and didnt open doors that were open...?something like that So I kept my life private far most living with acne was a pain, not only would i have acne on my face but aswell as on my back. Imagine scrubbing a wound in various parts of your chest back face neck..its like having cuts that your forcefully have to clean or touch or not be touched because your boiling in puss or your face is so red and black spots allover maybe even blood crusted after the volcano on your face just exploded..DISGUSTING!! Yes I got over that after living through a year of it. 2nd year of high school was awful at most I was still depressive and hated myself for being so damn rubbish
It all went down road from there I had a girlfriend until the end of that year from 9th to 10th grade endish... I smoke my first cigarrete that year did really idiotic things but I was just losing my mind in low self esteem so I ended up going to another school. I graduated early 11th grade my last year was the funnest ever in my high school years ill always remember it. I went through 9th and 10th taking a prescribe acne medicane for about 7 months I suffered through severe acne In 9th after ending my therapy for about 2 months acne came blashing out poof!! again It was like a circle I went to my dermatologist got prescribed another acne medicane which was the worsest I believe it mite have worked with time because most acne medications inform you, you'll get more acne before you get rid of it for a while at least. So I went back to my doctor switched back to my first acne treatment another 6 months It worked a bit but it just kept pouring out through my pours like thorns from hell. So by the end of 9th I went through a breakup going to another school smoke and some other childish mistakes at home. It was tough I was struck by hell I was in hell better more I hated life so much I just didnt show it to nobody. oh yea who would have I anyways I was always shy can you imagine that . I can its depressing i Know lol. 10th came by I went through it alrite I was still shyish because acne was coming and going so I would have my good days. I never cared about about anything except myself so I kinda grew into just caring about myself. I wanted to be outgoing and let out who I really was but it wasnt gonna be possible again now and days no way not really unless you rich or get lucky. I went through all the way through my 11th year the last year i was not bearly getting rid of my depression untill i regained my super acne bubble powers, so i unleashed it all I became another bubble. I started my first year of college with acne such bull!!! I couldnt help it my shy mode switch got turned on so I bothered caring about nothing i tried to do my work but college come on now!! You have to speak talk excessively do work together 10 times worst I hated life. Thanks to god they invented accutane isnt great :D!! I switched to Accutane the strongest I believe theres 3 categories As I started i felt the effects it was like going through my first acne medication at first so kinda like taking a couple of Advils mixed with some cough syrup medication and add a little bit of that allergy medication oofff...its the best feeling ever. its like your there but your not. You are your brain and nerves constrict you feel pressure on you chest close to your heart but hey if you agreed to Ipledge than fu** it you signed you want to change the way you are for what to look better to blend in more facially physically in a some matters. Yeah I learned acne medications are like steriods. 5 years later by a Dentist at my dental school boy I didnt know Accutane was that intense but i did . You have to lie to yourself in a way its how I learned lie to myself about so manys things from money to just myself. So I went through and believe me I it did not go away. I tried to imitate my feelings because i had none to start with, you see the medication was so strong I was numb on it 2 times a day for 7 months, yeah just 4 months more than indicated to most people, but hey its like plastic surgery you get rid of those ugly small boobs your embarassed to have people not looking, and getting a couple of double d's and getting all the attention. Not only do you do it for your best but you know you risk a lot after, from aging sogging possibly busting or something weird like that. I got rid of acne al