Should I continue taking Provera? Should I take Accutane?
So, heres the deal. I have many symptoms, and no answers. I dont believe the doctors. I know something is wrong with me. I feel like I should be on that Mystery Diagnosis Show!!
Ill try not to get to the basic outline of my problem. Ill start by saying that I am 27 years old NOW, so you can get an idea of when everything happened:
Ive had cyctic acne since I started my period at age 14. At age 15 my mother put me on Accutane and I was acne free for a year or so.
I was a 'horrible' child. Always depressed, suicidal, lots of mental health issues. Very cyclical problems.. meaning I was great and then horrible and then back to great again.
I was diagnosed a million different things throughout the years and choose to believe none of them, but for the sake of this post I shall tell you anyway. Ive been told I am Bipolar, Borderline Personality, Have PTSD, Chronic Depression etc...
I could go on about the mental health issues all day, but the thing is I dont think they are important, because I know I have an underlying problem. These issues are just a SYMPTOM of something else. Now, no doctor will take me seriously because I am "seriously mentally ill', of course.
So I live on disability.... WAITING FOR AN ANSWER!
About 5 years ago I realized my Moods and mental problems completely coincided with hormonal symptoms. Ive gone years now without periods, or just spotting, maybe one period a year... But I do get cramps and bloating and this is when I have the mental health issues. Every time Ive acctually had a real period, Ive ended up in the mental hospital for a suicide attempt ( No the physical pain in not that bad, its just that my depression is so severe during that time).
So, about 6 months ago, after overdosing and ending up in a hospital I was fed up (On my period again, only this time my period lasted 3 weeks.) I refused to enter the psych hospital, as I knew that when my period was over, Id be perfectly fine again... I had no 'issues' with life.
I ended up going to an endocrinologist because my period would not stop. He put me on 10mg of provera (medroxyprogesterone) the fist 10 days of every month. He decided that I had Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. (ONE MORE DIAGNOSIS THAT IS INCORRECT!!) I have some of the symptoms of this syndrome, but mainly, I am NOT overweight, in fact I am underweight and my hormone and blood testing all came back Perfect. (Maybe I need to get it done more than once??) I feel the doctor came to this conclusion as a last resort. It was an easy diagnosis.
So Today I still have horrible cystic acne and the first 10 days of the month I take provera which makes my period start somewhere around the 15th every month. So Basically I feel awful from the 1st to the 23rd of every single month.
What is the point of having my period every month if I am not feeling any better?? None of my symptoms have improved? I dont care about my period, I care about my mood and my ability to hold a job.
So here I am on my last day of provera this month telling myself Im never taking this shit again. But then what?? Im just back to being 'crazy" sporatically, rather than crazy at a specific time every month... Which is worse?
Secondly.. I am fed up with the acne and have tried EVERYTHING. Accutane is the only thing that has ever worked. I dont even wear makeup.... So should I try to get back on it? I know you cant be on it if you have mental problems, but I dont particularly care.... I feel like shit no matter what, why not feel shitty with a clear face?? Also, you have to be on birth control for accutane, I know the drill.... I also know I cant have babies, as Im not on birth control and have quite the sex life. I believe birth control will just mess with my hormones even more. Ive been on it in the past....
So heres the questions:
Should I stop the Provera?
Do you have any idea what hormonal problem I may have?? Or know what has been going on with me all my life??
Also, what do you think about Accutane? And if I do it, should I take the birth control or just vow to be abstinent?
PLEASE HELP! Serious answers only!