not sure what to do with my toddler pissing off my downstairs neighbor?
ok. so my son is 2 1/2 years old. happy, hyper little boy. we just moved a couple months ago to another apt in the same complex. well the neighbors below us is a handicap old lady that has always been rude to us, ALWAYS. then there is her daughter, her daughters husband/bf/baby daddy(?) and son, plus random people in and out all the time. we have no issues with anyone else in the apartment but the handicap woman. she uses a can and also her electric wheelchair sometimes and uses an air tank. we hear her yelling ALL THE TIME. so my son, being a 2 1/5 year old gets excited and runs around and stomps, when he gets mad/frustrated/throws a tantrum he will kick/stomp/hit/scratch... he stomps more b/c he knows it will get a rise out of us. so when he makes any noise she uses her cane and bangs on her ceiling/our floor. so then he thinks its a game and stomps back. she is the only one in the apartment with an issue btw. so on 4th of july we got back from DC around 11pm, we were in the door for 5 minutes. i got in the shower, i tried to get my son to come in with me(he normally LOVES baths and showers) but he threw a tantrum, so i had my bf come in and get him out of the bathroom to calm him down. the woman (some how quickly being that she is handicap) came up the stairs within the 5 minutes of us being in the door, starting banging our door with her cane, my bf answered and she yelled at him that she was going to call the cops if we didnt keep him quiet. now i get home late from work bc i normally close at starbucks. so i get home around 9:30-11pm depending on when i get out of work. my son gets excited bc im finally home, so i starts running everywhere and wont go to bed without a fight. so i have 2 options, let him stay up till he eventually passes out and try to keep him happy by giving him whatever he wants so he doesnt throw a tantrum. or i can try to get him to bed early and then hes gonna throw a tantrum and stomp and scream. so tonight my son was a little excited, wasnt even as noisy as he usually is. there was a heat and air quality advisory so he didnt get to go play outside all day. i get an officer at my door tonight around midnight bc she called crying and complaining about my son being too loud. he didnt even want to hear me explain anything, he just said he will fine us 0 if he keeps having to come out. WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO???? i feel like im suppose to just let my son get and have whatever he wants just to make this mean and crazy lady happy. i dont want to move again since we just moved (we needed more space thats why we moved). btw, i found out from another neighbor that the people in our apt before us moved bc of the woman downstairs. and we have already talked to our rental office about her in writing 2 times and once in person, but all they can do is talk to her. please... i need any and all GOOD advice. thanks!
so *he* gets excited i mean.
btw, i really do pick my battles with my son. if he wants to fall asleep with the lights on i let him, if he wants chocolate milk(not the syrup, i use powder so it has less sugar and more vitamins) instead of white milk, i let him, if he wants to eat peanut butter sandwiches 4 meals in a row i let him. im really lenient with him except for health and safety issues and his stomping. also, i have always been nice to her, shes met my son, she has always been rude to us and "barks" (figure of speech, shes not really barking) at us when we try to be nice to her. and she wont acknowledge us unless she wants to complain.
oh and when we do correct him, we try to stick to our guns about the correction (figure of speech, no actually guns are involved)
August 12th, 2010 - 10:17
Honestly, if she can call the cops, you can do and tell them that your neighbor is harassing you for something beyond your control, and I would go down and yell at her every time she does something, and tell her that he is a child and is going to be loud sometimes, just like her kids, and she can complain but you are not going anywhere, and even if she calls the cops and you even pay a fine, you are still going to be there so she needs to get over it.
August 12th, 2010 - 10:17
well the stupid cranky old lady should know how kids your sons age will behave, i suggest talking with the old bat, and if that dosnt work let your son annoy her so much she will move =]
but you shouldnt be threaten with a fine for a kid being a kid
the lady needs to chill severly
August 12th, 2010 - 10:17
I dunno, I think I might call a lawyer! I assume you’ve taken the time to talk to her in a neighborly way, bring her flowers or fruit or something, and introduce your son personally, and explain the predicament you’re in and that you are sorry and doing everything you can. If she knows you as a friendly face she may be less inclined to call the cops on you. And you can tell her that even if you are fined $500, it won’t make your son stop being a noisy 2 year old boy.
Next I’d arrange to meet with my apartment complex manager and demand to be moved into another apartment with no fees, as soon as one is available. Because having kids is legal, kids make noise, and she is harrassing you by calling the police. You have a right to complain, more than she does! She should be the apartment management’s problem.
If none of that helps I would consider calling the cops on her for banging her cane against the ceiling.
August 12th, 2010 - 10:17
Next time she comes up, act like something astonishing happended from behind her…once she turns around to see what you’re gasping about…quickly grab her cain, pull her hair, throw her head down and shove the cain directly up her ass.
that should put a stop to any further complaints, and help give grandma a thorough colon cleanse.
August 12th, 2010 - 10:17
Well the old lady needs to give you a break, we’ve all been there with kids and know how hard it can be but you also need to take your son in hand. Yes all toddlers have their tantrums, stamping around moments but he does need to be told that it wont be tolerated and that there will be consequences for his behaviour.
Make sure he knows what is acceptable and what is not then EVERY time he displays this bad behaviour put him in timeout or take away a toy or privilege ect. He will learn fairly quickly. But be prepared for it to get worse before it gets better but dont give up. If he sees you and your bf sticking together on the rules he cant play one off agaisnt the other.
August 12th, 2010 - 10:17
Don’t think about it, kids will be kids. If she can’t get over it then screw her. I had an old person living in the apartment below me and I couldn’t walk across the floor after 10 0′ clock without him saying something. Just have patience, she will die soon.
August 12th, 2010 - 10:17
Its a hard 1 because yes children are children during the day but at night time they should be asleep! My 2 and a half year old is in bed at 7 and wakes the next morning. I work a couple of evenings getting home at 8.30 he is tucked up in bed and sees me in the morning.
I think you should try to get a bedtime routine wether he throws a tantrum or not he will soon get into the routine.
He knows that if he creates you will give him whatever he wants.
But it does sound as though she is a horrid woman who likes to complain she probably has nothing else to do!!
Hope you manage to sort it
August 12th, 2010 - 10:17
If I were you I would first of all complain to the apartment owner. Maybe start some lies about drug dealing going on in there. Say that the old woman threatened your son’s life, tried to sell him some marijuana, slashed your tires, whatever. Do whatever you have to do. You can’t possibly be thinking that is a long term living situation with things how they are now. If you can’t get her out, then if I were you I would move. Cop callers are the WORST kind of people. They are impossible to deal with unless you get dirty. Don’t feel bad about it though, it’s karma.
August 12th, 2010 - 10:17
Loads of dumb answers about starting more drama…. :(
Just get your ducks in a row.
Start documenting all your interactions with her. Just little notes — "14 July, 9pm — Came home. Five minute tantrum. Mrs M at door for ten minutes, threatened to sue."
Talk to whomever deals with landlord-tenant law in your area — I don’t mean an attorney, but there should be a citizen’s advice agency that can tell you what the rules are. Because "all they can do is talk to her" is likely bollocks, because there is likely a rule that spells out your right to "quiet enjoyment of the premises." Mind, since cranky old ladies have the same right, a more reasonable or more _encouraged_ landlord (eg, a landlord who was aware that his tenant was aware of her rights) would be looking into things like carpets to minimize the noise.
Finally
"he didnt even want to hear me explain anything, he just said he will fine us $500 if he keeps having to come out. WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO????"
Call the police, non-emergency number, and ask them. Politely explain the situation, ask what you should do in the future. Again, document everything.
As for the toddler, if Mum gets home late, why not just give him a late bedtime? Be firm about a milk-stories-cuddles etc routine, soothe him off to sleep, after spending time with him. It’s totally fine for a 2yo to go to bed at 11 if that’s what works for the family.
As for the old lady, kill her with kindness. Seriously, offer the old bat cookies next time she comes to your door.
August 12th, 2010 - 10:17
i have the same problem i have a five year old boy and 2 yr old girl …the downstairs neighbor works at night so he complains around 4 pm and hell run up the stairs and bang as in bang on my door and yell stuff such as….im tired of the sh*T shut the Fu*k up ….now this is what i have done once when he was banging on the door i called for my son to answer the door with me i opened the door as soon as the neighbor saw my son he calmed down a bit and then instead of him barking and hollering at us he ASKED WHATS THAT NOISE and i said my son and my daughter keep running across the floor (and yes they r pretty loud sometimes) so thats when i said brendon(my son) our neighbor says its loud when u run i then demonstrated lol to my son the running and telling him see bren when u do this its really loud downstairsand our neighbors really tired cuz he works at night…so i asked my son can u try to stop running and my son shyly answered yes …after that i apoligized and asked my son to say sorry too …and afterwhen he was about to leave i asked him if he wouldnt come up here and bang on my door ….it scares my kids …and he very shyly also said sorry too …lol i guess my actually showing my son what all the fuss was about helped because my son is very visual and me showing him made it more clear for him …i hope my story helped u somewhat