nobody seems to understand how my life is? how i feel!?
i am 14 yrs old @forsyth in mo!
my dad is in a (not electric) wheelchair and has been in one since he was 9. he is 38 now! he had cancer as a kid and was always in the hospital. he has asthma had cancer 42 surgieries on his bak since he was 10 has scoliosis and he is going to be paralyzed from the waist down soon. he had had small heart attacks and when he gets sick he has to go to the hospital. everyone assumes i have a rly good life when they see me but i dont . my mom frks out alot and i have a twin but i was born first. so i am the oldest of the 3 kids age wise and mature wise. most of u mite know tht the oldest usually gets blamed for everything. i always end up crying at school and it is embarrasing. i have so much weight put on me tht it was hard to get the straight a's is used to get. i have friends who say they know what im going thru but they dont have to miss out in lfe becuz they cnt do things wit their dad cuz he is in a wheelchair! they get to hang wit their dad. they get to do watevr they want i dont my parents are so strict and i am sad most of hte time! any advice???!?
August 5th, 2010 - 06:50
Life is rough. I am sorry to hear that you are going through these things, but unfortunately sometimes life deals us a hand that we just have to play out. You should talk with your mom one on one and tell her that you are feeling sad all the time. There are lots of good treatments and therapies out there that may be of some help to you. Good luck and I hope you are feeling better soon. And your dad too!
August 5th, 2010 - 06:50
=/ you’ve had a pretty bad time… well the most advice i can give you is to just try to think of positive things about your dad, my mum is the same,. one angry ***** but well shes just lashing out because of your dad. just try to flatter her and spend time with her and she’ll eventually calm down a bit. Hope I helped a bit =/, p.s. Sorry about your dad =[
August 5th, 2010 - 06:50
Am so sorry you are going through this. You are right noone can possibly understand unless they are in your shoes. Am a first born too and it was hard growing up knowing you have to set an example and when things go wrong the parents turn to you 1st. It comes with the territory :). Now, instead of looking at all this things in your life in a negative light, you can look at the small blessings in them. The blessing that your father is still alive and around and the blessing of having a family. Yes, your friends may say they understand and you feel they truly dont but cut them some slack because it may be hard for them to really comprehend what you go through.At least they are there and listen.Dont begrudge them their own blessings in having fathers who arent disabled. You dont want to color your life with bitterness.Just know that this is preparing you for life and only makes you a stronger person.
My suggestion, its time you sat down as a family, with both your parents and talk from the heart. This has been long due.All family members should be able to talk about what issues they may be going through because who else apart from them can exactly understand the situation. You all need to support each other emotionally, physically ( i.e if there are chores to be done and mom needs help).So pick one day a week and have a family meeting, have like a fake mic and every member of the family gets a turn to hold the mic and talk on what happened with them during the week and how they feel emotionally. Talk things over and after have a pizza/ take out or something. Let it be a time to bond together, play games etc.
I also advise you to get like a ‘ Feelings Meter’ lol. Make one that has a range of motions or make different faces to go with the emotions. Everyday, place your ‘feeling’ up on the fridge, so that on days you feel down, you can have a special session with one or both of your parents and you can talk. This goes for your siblings too or your parents.
I also advise you to invest in a diary and write down how you feel, this is a nice outlet.
Also perhaps your parents can arrange for some counseling for you.
Sometimes our parents are strict for a reason. Just turn on the tv and see the news, all the madness going on in the world, they want what is best for you. If there is something you feel strongly about, then do try to talk and reach a compromise. Pic your battles.Try to earn their trust so that they can be less strict.
Good grades are your ticket in this tough world, a good education is important, so work hard to get back your good grades. As for your weight, it is becoz you feel down and depressed. Get out and get fresh air and exercise, this works great for depression and try to be conscious of what you eat. Have family outings to the park etc, just a simple walk will do wonders.
So go ahead and grab good food too. If you can help your mom in prepping it, so that you help make great healthy food and you get to bond with her.
Last but not least, I urge you to please speak to your parents, do it in a polite manner and from the heart and they will realize that you are growing and you need their help. You are holding this inside and its making you bitter and manifesting itself in other ways i.e depresion,weight, bitterness, bad grades etc. All the best, remember the world is out there, make wise decisions, choose to take control of your life and you will see so many rewards as a result. Tell yourself, ok so this is what is going on with me, how can I turn it around?