How do I get my mom to take me to the dermatologist?
So, I have a BIG acne problem. I did some research online a little while ago and I think that I have nodular acne, which I read can only be treated by going to the dermatologist and getting something injected into your skin or going on Accutane. I've tried every face wash and acne treatment that I've found in stores, but none of it really seems to help. It's getting pretty bad, because I'm in high school and I still have the same acne all over my face that I've been getting since 4th grade. People say stuff about it behind my back all the time, like one guy I thought was my friend who said that I "look like a freakin witch because my acne looks like warts all over my nose". Basically, it sucks.
So, I want to go to the dermatologist, but there's 2 problems:
1. My family is lacks money at the moment. My dad lost his job almost 2 years ago now, and although my parents started a home business, it just doesn't make enough money for us to really live on. Basically, every cent goes to groceries and paying the bills, and everything else is just a waste in my parents' eyes.
2. I know I'll probably get some less-than-friendly comments because of this, but my family doesn't believe in doctors for religious reasons. But lately, I don't really know what I believe anymore, and I just kind of feel like going to a dermatologist would be the best decision. I know that my parents will think that I'm making a wrong decision, though. I mean, ever since I became a teen, they've told me that I can make my own choices, and if I really wanted to I could go to a doctor (this was regarding other stuff, though, not acne). But I always chose not to, so now I would feel like I was letting them down and totally giving up on my religion, even though I don't want to.
So, I don't even know how to bring this up to my mom. (My dad isn't even worth asking, he'll just think I'm being stupid.) For both of these reasons, I know it will be really hard to get her to say yes, and even if she does I'll feel terrible for making them spend money and not following our religion totally. How can I approach her about this? I feel really uncomfortable just going up to her and asking her, but I feel like writing a note or something would just be kind of dumb. Help?
November 9th, 2010 - 08:02
Wow, I’m so sorry. I know how you feel because my face was clear my whole life until about a month ago. I started breaking out and used every over the counter medicine out there, but it didn’t work. My parents brought me to the dermatologist and i am so thankful.
The only advice I can give is if you have that kind of acne, you really do need to go to a dermatologist. If you are old enough, maybe you should try to get some kind of a job. It will be really expensive to go, but that really is your only hope with severe acne.
November 9th, 2010 - 08:02
Unless your parent’s have insurance, which I’m doubting due to the money issue, there is likely no way for you to go to the dermatologist or go on roaccutane. The medicine is very, VERY expensive and most people who go on it do not pay out of pocket. I’ve started taking accutane a few weeks ago and my mom told the amount I had is worth around $800. I hope you can find some way to get to a dermatologist, because this situation sounds very difficult..
November 9th, 2010 - 08:02
Without getting into a philosophical discussion regarding religious beliefs, I will point one thing out: Your mom and dad said if you wanted to go, they would take you. That means that the tenets of their religion are not so restritctive in their own minds — or they would not have told you they would take you in the first place. You’re not letting them down.
You also have to remember that some things are considered wrong because God said so, and other things are considered wrong because some guy said so. That is called an ecclesiastical rule, when tradition says you shouldn’t do these things, but God never actually says that you couldn’t or shouldn’t. If you’re a JW, I will remind you that even Jesus had a disciple who was a physician. So God definitely does not look down on physicians.
In the meantime, there are a couple of things you can do. First get online or in the phonebook and find some phone numbers to some dermatologists. Find out how much their office visits cost. Usually they’re $50 to $90. Many doctors work in swank office during most of the week, but then they go to other offices to help out with folks who can’t afford regular office visits, so ask the doctors with whom you speak if they have or know of something like that, where they offer their services very cheaply. If you happen to get an allowance, save up your duckets to pay for the visit yoruself. Then it will not be a financial hardship on your folks. Of if you can do some extra chores for your mom or extra money, do that. Save up your money until you have enough to go see the doc. When you’re at the doc’s office, if he wants to write you a script, ask him for samples instead. If he’s got them, he’ll give them to you. And most docs get samples by the boatload because pharmaceutical companies give them to docs for free for their patients to try.
In the meantime, look up some natural remedies. Believe it or not, honey is a superb antibacterial. I hear tell you can put a dab of honey right on a spot and it will help to shrink it and make it go away.
Also, don’t change your makeup very often. Switching products back and forth can wreak havoc on your skin. If you’re going to try something new, you have to use it for at least 30 days before you will be able to tell if it’s working because it takes 28 days for new skin to regenerate.
Good luck. Don’t be shy about asking your folks. Do some research so it’s already done and they don’t have to do anything but drive you. If they weren’t serious about taking you to the doc, they wouldn’t have offered, especially because it’s a major tenet of your faith.
November 9th, 2010 - 08:02
I totally understand your pain, i always hated how i was the only person in my family with acne and how my friends would ask me if i wash my face or "What is that on your face?" It lowered my confidence and self esteem greatly, I tried everything from Clearasil, AcneFree, Neutrogena, Retin-A you name it. Nothing worked! Finally my parents took me to the dermatogist and he put me on Accutane. So far it was the only thing that actually cleared up my face. Try to have a talk with her about it, and if you can’t go I would suggest trying CeraVe products. They aren’t harsh cleansers that will irritate your acne but they are very gentle to use.